How Long ’til my Soul Gets it Right?

Karma’s a bitch. I just wish I’d known that when I was 21. Now I’m nearly 30 and reaping what I’ve sown. I used to be the one to break up with people. I didn’t play games, exactly, but I didn’t really think about what I was doing. I’m sure thinking about it now. I could be somewhere else completely. With someone else entirely. Sure, I wouldn’t have my son, but I wouldn’t be in this position, either.

I had someone who was in love with me once. Truly, madly, and deeply. I was too young and too wrapped up in myself to know how rare that is. I let it go, and boy do I regret it. Really, what does one do when they’re trapped in a marriage with someone who’s not in love with them? Usually they leave, but of course, there’s the boy to think of. He deserves a father. Even more importantly, he deserves HIS father. So, I guess if we stay together, my son and I have both gotten what we deserve.


4 Responses to “How Long ’til my Soul Gets it Right?”

  1. 1 tweetey29
    February 16, 2007 at 9:42 pm

    You know no one deserves to be unhappy here. I mean if he doesnt love you or your son I would walk. I mean he can still see his dad. I hate when people stay together just because they think its best for the kids. Sometimes it does more damage than helping them. I got your name off tshsmoms blog this afternoon when checking up on her.

    Life is to short to live with someone who doesnt deserve you. I would pack up and get out before your son gets to old. I mean I am no religion freak like some people and wont leave because of that either but you and your son need happiness in your family and life. I am not preaching because I dont know you. I just saw this post and thought I needed to say what needed saying. Tweets.

  2. 2 United We Lay
    February 18, 2007 at 11:30 pm

    I appriciate the support! We decided to try marriage counseling first. I’m not completely confident that it will work, and he realizes he has a lot to prove to me at this point. I think I owe it to my son and myself to try, but if things don’t improve in the next 6 months, it’s time to move on.

  3. 3 Ed Abbey
    May 8, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    I haven’t blogged about this much on my blog but my parents divorced when I was six. They married way to young and before they realized what love was. My mom would later go on to meet a man who truly loved her and her children. My stepdad has been my father for the last 15 years and I wouldn’t trade him back for my biological one. I don’t think kids need a father in their lives especially if they aren’t being a father. If counciling doesn’t work out, I’m sure your child will be just find without a father and possibly better off if you find someone truly in love with you some day in the future.

  4. 4 United We Lay
    May 18, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    I ddin’t see this comment until just now. I appricate you telling me this. I’m having such a difficult time right now and I don’t know how to get through it. It’s only possible because of my son, but it hurts so much.

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I am not perfect. I do my best to practice what I preach, but I am human. My mantra is, "DO NO HARM". I may not always succeed, but I will always try. My goal is to be a better person today than I was yesterday.

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