Teenage Pregnancy – Where’s Your Daddy?

Why is there not a movement for the parents of teenage mothers to sue the teenage father’s for child support and force them to take joint custody?  In the cities, most people don’t have the money for a lawyer, so that I understand, but it’s not just minority girls getting pregnant.  There are teen mothers everywhere, and something like 6 out of 10 teen fathers disappearing.  Being a minor shouldn’t preclude you from taking care of your child.  That certainly doesn’t work with the mothers.  If it were more difficult for the fathers, if they actually had to give something up, they might think twice about not using protction or having premarital sex.

I’ve Been Slacking

I used to be a workaholic, but then I had a baby.  I am desperately trying to juggle all of the separate factions of my life. I’m working harder than I ever have before, and I still feel like the biggest slacker in the universe.  It’s a “too many irons in the fire” syndrome.  I’m doing a lot of things, but I don’t feel like I’m doing any of them particularly well (the best I can, of course, but never quite good enough).

I only get to see my son for an average of 3 hours a day.  I leave for work before he wakes up. I don’t get to pick him up until 4:30, and he goes to bed at 8.  I make the most of the time I have with him, but I never feel like it’s enough.  I feel like I’m missing out on major things.  I didn’t know he could do the hand motions to “Itsy-Bitsy Spider” until I saw him do it by chance a few days ago.  I reinforce what he does at day care,but someone else is teaching him.  I rationalize by reminding myself there are millions of children in daycare all over the world, that we have chose carefully, that my husband works in the same building, and that he is a bright, independent little boy who seems to be thriving (as far as I can tell) in that environment.  I still feel guilty.

I don’t put the prep work into my lessons that I used to.  I love my job and I truly believe that my students deserve the best education I can offer them, which requires a lot of preparation.  I have to consider various intelligence levels, learning styles, interests, and language abilities.  I have to grade one quiz and one test a week for 120 students (and I teach Literature, so it’s not like they’re multiple choice), call the parents of those who are failing, meet with those who have behavioral issues, and do whatever my principal asks (which included planning the prom, explaining PSSA and SAT questions, and creating and grading the Senior Projects).  An hour and a half a day is simply not enough time.  I used to work from home, but by the time the baby’s in bed and the house has been tidied, I’m exhausted and can’t quite come up with a new and exciting project about Chaucer.  I “stole” one from the Internet and adapted it to my students to the best of my ability to my students and felt incredibly guilty.

I juggle playing with the baby and tiding the house until my husband gets home , but I never feel like I get enough done.  I can fold some laundry, do some dishes, vacuum the livingroom, or make dinner, but I can’t do them all in an hour or two and watch the baby.  I use Sesame Street more than I should.  Domestication is not my strong suit, and my working hours have added to the struggle.  A little boy adds to the mess and the distraction (and the exhaustion) .  I do what I can and feel guilty about not getting to the rest.

I write when I need an outlet.  Unfortunately, I’ve only found the time once a week or so since school started, but I plan on taking a little more time for myself during the summer.  I’ve been a little self-centered.  I haven’t given enough attention to the war in Iraq, gas prices, and the war.  I’ve stuck to what’s easy – opinions on religion, philosophy, and science.  I feel like I’ve gotten rusty and complacent.  I’ve been slacking.  I should sleep less, drink more coffee, and write more (after my son is in bed, the housework is done, I’ve finished my lesson planning for the year, and I’ve had an actual conversation with my husband).

Nearly Half

I heard a report on NPR that nearly half of all Americans are on some sort of prescription drug.  While the story tried to convince us that it’s a good thing because it means that we have had major advancements in medical technology and science, I tend to think that it has more to do with pharmaceutical companies making billions of dollars on health care that many Americans have to pay for out of their own pocket.  I highly doubt that so many Americans would be on so many drugs if the government was footing the bill. 

Our health care system has become a money making industry and has strayed so far from its original intent that I wonder if doctors have forgotten the “do no harm” part of their oath.  Easy health care doesn’t mean it’s good health care.  Prescribing a pill instead of diet and exercise doesn’t do anyone any good, especially since we’re in this particular health care nightmare of rampant diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure because of what we eat and our propensity to sit on the couch rather than go for a walk.

Science and Jesus

If you believe in the evolution of religion and that each new religion that is created relies on those before it for their fundamental truths, then it might be easier to accept that as the human mind expands its capabilities, new and viable religions will form to accommodate the most intelligent among us.  If you can’t fathom that, then maybe this – as we learn more and more about our brains, some of the basic principles of major religions come into focus more clearly.  The call to love unconditionally and forgive unconditionally particularly fits this mold.

As advances in psychology continue, we frequently learn that the things we find unforgivable in others may not be the end result of free will as much as they are a product of the warped chemistry within our own minds.  When we take a moment to recognize that we cannot truly know what lies inside a person’s head, we give ourselves the opportunity to stop judging for a moment and forgive the faults, large and small, that we may find personally unforgivable.  Depression, obsession, defiance, and deceit all could be the result of bad brain chemistry, and while we should not forget what people do to us lest we be burned a second time, we should at least try to forgive their transgressions, whether they ask for forgiveness or not.  Unconditional love IS unconditional, after all.

Musical Chairs

With all the discussion of the transfer of power in Cuba, there is a lot of criticism that this is just an adult game of musical chairs.  I tend to agree, though I don’t think the system of government we have set up for ourselves is all that different.  There is little difference between the Republicans and Democrats, which may be why our elections have been so close recently.  There’s a lot of talk about Raul Castro and the small changes he will enact, but how much difference in laws and policies will there be between the administrations of John McCain and Barack Obama (or any other combination of potential Presidents)?  Americans can be all high and mighty if they choose, but the fact remains that sweeping reform is a thing of the past, and will not be the hope of the future until we ignore the mainstream candidates like Huckabee and Hillary and pay more attention to the lesser knowns, like Ron Paul and Denis Kusinich.

Calling Card

It started in 2000 when the National News Media (referred to hereafter as the NNM) called the election for Gore, then for Bush.  It continued unchecked through the 2004 election, and now the beast has grown as the NNM devoured the Primaries and spit them out in the image they chose.  Fights are created between candidates without their knowledge, and anyone in politics commenting at all on any aspect of the Presidential canpaign has their words twisted and contorted until no one really has any idea what anyone is saying. 

Unfortunately, most of the American public doesn’t know that you can’t trust the news, especially those of the generation of Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite.  What I wouldn’t give for just one ounce of integrity in today’s NNM.  Maybe we’d have some idea of what’s actually going on in the world instead of being bombarded by op-ed pieces about soldiers coming home and flags flying high.  It’s an election, dammit, and let’s not forget that there’s also the small matter of the WAR we’ve been fighting.  And let’s stop saying that we’re choosing the “leader of the free world”.  Frankly, it’s insulting to the rest of the world, and it’s not a title we seemed to have earned as of yet.

3,966 US soldier killed in Iraq (yes, that’s still happening, and no, I still don’t think these numbers are accurate)  29,203 US soldiers wounded in Iraq

The Working Mother, Part 2

I am writing today (December 10th) because I am home with a sick baby.  I had the flu last week but didn’t call out  because I knew that there was a strong possibility that my son would get it and I would need to stay home with him.  This didn’t stop my boss from laying a guilt trip on me when I called out this morning, reminding me that my staff would have to cover for me.  He has no children.  The stress of the working mother is directly proportional to the attitudes of the men surrounding her, especially in the workplace.

It is difficult enough for a woman to manage a full time job and a household, but last minute schedule changes and added assignments can really put a wrench in her plans.  She’s a pretty flexible person and can work at home or stay late if she have planned to do so, but it is unfair to hand her a project five minutes before she is supposed to leave for the day and expect that she’ll be able to complete it by morning (assuming, of course, she has chosen a profession in which this is not a part of the job description).  Her afternoons and evenings are filled with household and childrearing duties, and only the threat of losing her job is worth giving up the precious little time she gets to share with her children.  Instead, she’ll come in early and get her paperwork finished before everyone else just to prove to her boss that she can manage all of her responsibilities as long as she is allowed a little flexibility in doing so.

3,900 US soldiers killed in Iraq;  28,773 US soldiers wounded in Iraq