You are a toxic person. You have done more damage in two weeks than most people can do in two years. You have destroyed my confidence and undermined my trust. You have damaged a future that was on shaky ground to begin with, and for what? You are a selfish woman.
I don’t believe for a second that any of this is innocent. I think it probably is on his part (though he has his share of the blame), but every woman knows, once a manipulator, always a manipulator. You can’t be trusted. If you could be, you would have bowed out when I asked you, without sending him my emails to you. If you really didn’t want anything but friendship from him, you would have walked away when I said you were hurting my marriage. And if it was your intention to stop talking to him, you would have done it without asking him if that’s what he wanted. I know this game. You are purposely pitting him against me.
The kinds of things you have been saying to my husband, regardless of the reasons, are unacceptable. Under no circumstances do you ever tell another woman’s husband that you love him, that if you weren’t separated by an ocean and a continent things might be different, and that you need him. I can’t imagine how your husband could be okay with all that. And if all of this is so innocent, why is it that you haven’t told YOUR husband the extent to which you have been talking to mine? Does he know about the phone calls, the emails, the IMs? How does he feel about your telling another man that you love him?
Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said…
Perhaps fuck off would be too kind?
7:14 AM
United We Lay said…
It certainly would. I think I’m losing my mind. He’s no tsleeping with her. She’s too far away. I think it’s that if she weren’t he’d want to that is breaking my heart. And that he’s chose her over me. And that when I asked him to stop talking to her because it bothered me he said I was being irrational.
7:20 AM
Laura said…
Man, I’m sorry to hear this. It sounds like a stressful situation. To have your concerns dismissed as “irrational” doesn’t help either.
9:39 AM
TomCat said…
Words fail me. {{{hug}}}
11:19 AM
undergroundlogician said…
Dear UWL:
I don’t know what to say. There are many forms of adultery besides the blatant act…You have nothing but support from me…You can approach the meddling female, but your greatest influence is the one who is receiving her IM’s etc.
You may have to get help for yourself so you can know how to effectively nip these symptoms in the bud and get to the core problem.
I’m pulling for the both of you…
12:30 PM
Three Score and Ten or more said…
I am so sorry. Sounds like a return to past actions. Think of this as a long distance hug. I wish there were something I could do.
4:46 PM
United We Lay said…
What you all have done is enough. Thank you.
I am so sorry to hear of this, belatedly. I think you’re wise to see and call it for what it is. Many years ago my ex-husband ending up cheating on me with my best friend because I was naive and DIDN’T see the signs.
I don’t know how much of this you’ve reasoned out with him, but if he is not open to discussing this, then I most certainly WOULD contact the woman’s husband. It will not only help YOU in your cause, but it is also only fair to HIM. He should know what is going on. And, two heads are better than one! Once you enlist him, you may be surprised to find a solution.
The problem is letting her husband know anonymously. I don’t know if he answers his phine or opens his mail.